To my sister,
I thought I knew what it was like to feel sad and empty, but I had no idea! Kalpna, I miss you with all my heart. I am grateful for all the memories we have had and deeply saddened by all the memories we were to make. In grappling with your untimely passing, I often find myself trying to figure out if I would be better off not having such a compassionate sister with an impeccable gift of great wit and humor that constantly lit up my world… then it wouldn’t hurt so much. Perhaps ignorance is bliss, but in the end I know the time we had is worth the pain I feel.
You were too young to have a will, but clearly you left me with the love of all those who loved you and a lifetime of laughs. Some people like to keep their friend circles separate, but not you! You always treat your friends like family and make every effort to connect your worlds. Over the past few weeks, I have been able to find joy in getting in touch with those who loved you… many of whom I felt like I knew because you shared a bit about them in passing and they too knew of your sisters. They often asked, “so are you Raakhee or Priya?” and then proceed to tell me what funny stories they knew about me.
I don’t know how long it is going to take me to come to terms with your death… I know I am far from it now, but I do have some peace knowing that you truly knew how much I loved you and likewise, I knew that you loved me.
I am always proud to be your sister.
Love you always,